Starting earlier and earlier these days in school... sex ed. Teaching kids to stay abstinent or to use birth control because if you have sex, you will get pregnant. They pound it into our brains time and time again how easy it is to get pregnant and have your young life interrupted by adulthood in a split second.
What they didn't tell you? After years of trying not to get pregnant, a handful of people in your sex ed class won't be able to get pregnant without tons of fertility treatments. A few will have miscarriages. Maybe a few will never have the opportunity to have a single child at all because of a mix of the two.
Am I saying sex ed is bad? Of course not. I know a few people who SHOULD have taken sex ed a little more seriously. I see people on TV like Jenelle Evans or Farrah Abraham and I am reminded why it is a good thing that Sex Ed is taught in our schools and may save other girls from similar fates.
However, I never thought that it would be this hard to grow my family. I had it pounded into me for years that sex = pregnancy. That is just how it is. Getting pregnant and having a baby is the easy part... NOT getting pregnant and having a baby is the part that takes work. Well, thanks Sex Ed for not preparing me for this part of it.
I never thought that having a baby would depend on chromosomes, genetic odds, and good old fashioned luck. I never thought there would be a cocktail of various supplements on my counter to be taken twice a day. I never expected to be on a fertility medication. I never expected any of it. I expected the norm. Get married, have as many kids as I wanted, live happily ever after. Now I am learning there is more to it. There are a million variables in that little plan of mine.
Another thing I never realized? People change. People treat you differently. People stop coming around because you are sad and they don't really understand why. It's not a big deal unless you are in it. People assume we are young and it will happen for us eventually. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Even if it does it doesn't erase the pain. It doesn't erase the 6 babies I have lost and never got to meet. It doesn't erase those little heartbeats I saw flickering on the ultrasound one week that were gone the next. It doesn't stop me from obsessing as soon as I get pregnant every time... looking for signs of miscarriage from the moment that second pink line shows up. It changes your life. I will not ever be the same again. That is a fact.
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