Nothing new to update, just some feelings...

Nothing new to update really. Saw my doctor a few weeks ago and everything checked out well from my D&C. He asked if we were going to keep trying and I told him after a lot of though, we decided we were going to keep trying until we just couldn't take it anymore. He said he was glad to hear it and has a really good feeling about the next one. [Hey, at least I have a supportive doctor, right?]

Anyways, some days are harder than others. It's hard to think about the fact that I have been pregnant  FIVE times. Five. I have one living son, a son in heaven, and 3 babies in heaven we don't know the sex of.

In a few days, the anniversary of my first miscarriage is coming up. It's hard to believe just a year ago, I was blissfully pregnant and thought our troubles were behind us. I figured that I would be holding a 4 month old right now and that life would be complete bliss. It never crossed our mind that instead we would suffer 4 miscarriages by the same day the next year.

I was just browsing Etsy, something I do a lot to get ideas for my shop. I found a shirt that made me start crying. We have always called Collin our little monkey, so it really just hit home. Just typing this has me in tears. It's a shirt to announce pregnancy for a child to wear.

It's silly. I know that. However, this just shows how real my grief is. Just like someone who has just lost someone close to them they knew for years.. seeing something that reminds them off that person can send that person into instant tears. This shirt did it for me. I vow, right now, that if God decides to bless us with another child, that I will buy this shirt with happy tears in my eyes.

One day at a time... some are harder than others.