We found out on August 4th that we were expecting once again. I knew I was pregnant before I took the tests, even the ones that came back negative because it was too early. I just knew. The cravings, the fatigue... I just knew it. However, tears fell when I saw that positive because I knew the pain that would almost for sure follow.
At my first appointment on August 21st, I almost knew immediately that things weren't okay. I was measuring too far behind, but nothing could be determined for sure. I was measuring 4 weeks 1 day and should have been 6 weeks 3 days. I scheduled another ultrasound for the following week. The next week I was measuring 6 weeks even, but that was still about a week and a half behind. He told me to come back the next week. There was only 2 days of growth and still no heartbeat and so the doctor told me he wanted to draw my HCG levels to see if they were still rising before he did a D&C or fully ruled it a miscarriage. I went through the blood draws and the next week I got a call saying that they levels had risen, so that I needed to come back for another ultrasound. I went back and there was no growth. He had told me a D&C was an option, but that I would most likely be able to pass it at home and that it was my choice. I told him that I would just do it naturally, even though my first miscarriage naturally was rough, just because we had a really busy week and I didn't want to have to cancel plans and have Eric take time off his first week at his new store. I had already began spotting by this appointment, so I figured it would happen relatively soon.
This past Saturday, after nearly 2 weeks of spotting on and off, I found myself in horrible pain and started bleeding. I was hoping that it would pass quickly. Eric had to work that night and I pretty much laid on the couch all night because the bleeding would start when I stood up. The next morning, things seemed a little out of control. I was bleeding constantly and getting very, very weak. I started having blood clots and I called the on call doctor at my office. He assured me I was just fine and that I could go in if I wanted to but he was sure I would be fine soon.
I decided to have Eric take me to the ER because I really didn't think that I was okay. Turns out, it was a good thing I went it. Things were NOT okay, I had a ton of blood clots and retained tissue from my baby. After removing the blood clots manually and having an ultrasound, it was ruled I needed a D&C right away, as there was a ton of excess tissue. Today I am feeling better, but weak and having a hard time regualting my body temperature. One minute I am sweating, the next I am cold. I slept crappy last night from waking up sweaty and just being worried about blood loss.
We are going to take a break, to let my body heal from this trauma before we try for our very last time for a sibling for our sweet miracle. After 7 losses, our hearts and my body are just kinda done. There is one last thing we can try that I have heard of that can actually help with chromosomes in cell division. A supplement Eric will take and I will take as a backup as well. We are praying that if it is meant to be, that God will give us a baby this time.
RIP to all 7 of our angels <3
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